Five Tips For Navigating Political Discussions

Last Tuesday, President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden participated in (we think) the first of three U.S. presidential debates, which can only mean one thing: election season, love it or hate it, is officially upon us.

While the candidates hope to avoid political pitfalls before Election Day, you may have to navigate some landmines of your own, as political conversions with friends, family, and co-workers could arise between now and Nov. 3.

As such, here are five tips to keep in mind in the coming weeks.

Respect boundaries

Perhaps you are very knowledgeable about political issues and are always up to date on the latest news and current events. That’s fantastic! It is important to remember, however, that not everyone may be as knowledgeable or as passionate as you are. And even if they are, they may not want to engage in a political discussion with you for any number of reasons.

Do you two differ politically? Are their friends or family within earshot? Is their boss present?

In these situations, it’s important to read the room and know your audience. Do not pressure someone into having a political conversation, especially if they clearly do not want to have it.

Think before you comment

If you disagree with a political post or comment that you see on social media, it might be best to resist the urge to chime in. There is little, if anything, to be gained from having a political discussion or debate on Facebook or Twitter, especially with strangers. Those conversations tend to devolve quickly, and you may say something that you regret.

If you are going to have a political conversation with someone, it’s almost always better to have it in person. If you feel like you have to give your opinion online, consider sending the person a private message instead of posting it on a public forum. Another option? Instead of calling someone out for their post, it might be better to make a post of your own and speak your truth on your wall or feed. Either way, be careful what you put in writing. (Screenshots are real!)

Ultimately, it’s best to avoid political discussions online. When in doubt, take time to think through your response. Don’t respond in anger or frustration. You will likely save yourself hours of aggravation in the process.

Focus on common ground, not conversion

It’s no secret that we live in highly polarized times. Many people feel very strongly about their support for one candidate and their opposition to the other. At this point, just weeks before the election, it is unlikely that you will convince an enthusiastic supporter to do a 180 and pull the lever for the other side.

Thus, if you find yourself in a discussion with someone who has opposing views, do not try to explain why they are “wrong.” Instead, try to find common ground with that person. How can your candidate’s party and their candidate’s party work together to solve problems that are important to both of you? Focus on what binds you together as Americans, not on what divides you as political opposites.

Recognize the other person’s humanity

Did I mention that we live in highly polarized times? There are many issues that Americans all along the political spectrum care deeply about, issues that impact our everyday lives. It’s okay to be passionate about those issues. However, when speaking to someone with whom you disagree, do so respectfully. Do not verbally attack them. Criticizing their character or intelligence – or anything that makes them, them – will not do you, or your cause, any favors.

Focus on the issues. Try to understand where they’re coming from. Treat them how you would want to be treated.

It’s okay to disagree with someone; it’s not okay to deny their humanity.

Remember that actions speak louder than words

In the era of social media, it’s very easy to “like” a post or retweet a comment and feel that we’re making a difference. It can also be very difficult to walk away from a political debate – either online or in person.

Wherever you stand politically, though, there are likely tens of millions of Americans who disagree with you. You could literally spend all of your free time arguing with those people, and you likely wouldn’t change many, if any, minds. It would also, without question, have a negative impact on your psyche, as well as your personal life.

Would that be the best use of your time? Probably not.

So, if you want to impact change and find a positive outlet for your political passion, take a break from social media and volunteer. Campaign for your candidate of choice. Ensure that people in your community are registered to vote and know when, and where, to cast their ballot.

You may not sway the election, but you’ll probably feel better contributing to your cause rather than arguing against someone else’s.

The bottom line

Election Day is just four weeks from today. On the one hand, it will be here before you know it; on the other hand, it can’t come soon enough. But eventually we’ll get there, no matter how bumpy the ride is between now and then.

Hopefully these tips will help you along the election journey. But if you’re feeling down or frustrated – or if political disagreements are causing a strain in your personal or professional life – please reach out. Relationship counseling can help you avoid these landmines and navigate the home stretch.

Dr. Amelia Powelson is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), and the owner of Perspective Psychology, LLC. She can be reached at 312.588.9672 or amelia@perspectivepsychchicago.com.