Relationship Counseling

 Relationship Counseling

Are You Unhappy with a Relationship in Your Life?

• Are you feeling unfilled in one of your relationships?

• Do you worry that you or your partner might end the relationship?

• Are you concerned that you’re being a bad friend?

• Do you feel as though someone is not listening to you, understanding you or being there for you in ways you need?

In many ways, our lives are built around relationships, and the people with whom we interact should bring us happiness and joy. Your relationship therapist can help ensure this is the case.

Although we might have good relationships overall, relationship issues are inevitable. There will be fights, disagreements, or tense or uncomfortable moments. We may have a family member that doesn’t respect our boundaries. We may have a partner who broke our trust. We may have a friend who doesn’t follow through with plans. We may have a co-worker who makes collaborating challenging. Your focus should not solely be on the fact that these situations occur; it should also be on how you process, handle and overcome them.

Relationships Impact Our Lives in Many Ways

Having fulfilling relationships with people you trust is an important part of living a happy life. It’s important to feel close and connected to people and to have people with whom you can be your true self.

Since relationships are a big part of our lives, it’s easy for misunderstandings to occur or for feelings to be hurt. Most relationship issues come down to two core issues: poor communication and a lack of trust. The way we communicate with others, and how we develop trust with others, are often rooted in our life experiences. As a result, we often start relationship counseling by exploring your views on relationships, expectations from others, types of interactions you have, and the role you play within them.

Were emotions discussed in your house growing up? Did you feel comfortable sharing thoughts and feelings with a parent, friend, or teacher? Did you feel like you had a support system and could trust people, or did you feel like you had to keep things to yourself and handle them on your own? 

All these experiences impact how we communicate as adults, and relationship therapy is a way to explore and improve this dynamic. Asking for help and relying on someone else can be difficult, but having healthy, close relationships requires us to be open, vulnerable and willing to share. That can feel scary and overwhelming, but having a relationship counselor you trust can help strengthen and improve the relationships in your life.

We All Experience Relationship Issues

Everyone experiences relationship issues at some point in life, and a relationship therapist can support you in navigating them. Although these issues are common, they can significantly impact our social and emotional well-being.

Relationship Issues Happen with Family

It’s common for your family relationship dynamic to come up in therapy. We may not agree with what relatives say or do (commonly with politics). Since these relationships are (generally) here to stay, this may leave us feeling stuck and frustrated. Even though we’re adults, we (and our parents) may have difficulty moving past traditional parent/child roles, which makes it challenging to keep boundaries and assert ourselves. 

Relationship Issues Happen at Work

With work, office politics or certain power dynamics can make us feel on edge and lead to trouble handling conflict or speaking up. We may not say what we want because we fear backlash (losing our job, not receiving a raise or promotion). A colleague may not be timely with email responses or collaborate well, leaving you at a loss for how to move forward. Pressure to be professional may cause you to second-guess what you say and do. Relationship issues for these situations are best addressed in individual therapy.

Relationship Issues Happen with Friends

Friendships present unique challenges because these relationships feel more fragile. We may be concerned the friendship will end, which can put pressure on us to act in a certain way and not say what’s on our mind. We may worry about what friends think and fear being judged. Counseling can allow you to be your true self in a friendship.

Relationship Issues Happen with Partners

We are usually closer with our partner than anyone else in our lives. It’s a unique and intimate relationship, and we spend a lot of time with the person. Since we’re often harshest with the people we’re closest to, conflict can easily arise. Often needing to rely on our partner and share responsibilities with them can also contribute to relationship issues. Parenting can bring additional challenges, as there’s even more of a need to communicate and support one another.

Seeing a relationship counselor can help you navigate all of these dynamics and have happier, more fulfilling relationships. 

Relationship Counseling Can Help You Have Fufilling Relationships

Relationship counseling is effective in helping people manage their relationships, as there is a strong focus on self-reflection and strengthening communication skills. When you know yourself and communicate well within your relationships, you are more likely to have your needs met. Feeling confident and secure within your relationships is key to building a healthy life.

During relationship therapy, we first focus on you. Others are secondary. You can expect to reflect on your life experiences, actions, and reactions. To have healthy relationships, we must first understand ourselves and how we contribute to a relationship. This is a process of self-discovery and growth. We then look at what you would like out of your relationships.

Your relationship therapist will help you build healthy communication skills that allow you to communicate in an open, non-confrontational way. We use a variety of tools and techniques, including “I statements” and the “sandwich approach.” These tools help us keep the focus on how we are feeling and incorporate positives into the conversation. We want to express our feelings and reactions in a way that doesn’t blame the other person. This helps the person be receptive to our thoughts and feelings. Communication isn’t just about your words; it’s also how you say them and how you present yourself.

Improved communication will help you ask for what you need. These could be basic things (asking a friend if they want to grab dinner), asking for help (if your spouse will take out the trash), conveying what you need (me-time to relax), or implementing boundaries (saying no to answering emails on the weekends). Clear boundaries are a key piece to healthy relationships, and they’re often more difficult to implement than we think. Your relationship counselor can help you feel comfortable speaking up and implementing boundaries. 

Since relationships are part of most people’s core values, relationship issues come up in counseling regardless of why the person is seeking therapy. As a result, our therapists have extensive experience helping people navigate relationship dynamics.

Our therapists have also undergone cultural competency training, which helps us understand the different dynamics and expectations individuals of different backgrounds have with friends, family, coworkers and others. This helps us understand your unique experience and tailor our approach accordingly. 

You Still May Have Doubts About Relationship Counseling

Will it make a difference in my relationship if the other person isn’t in the session with me?

Yes, individual therapy for relationship issues allows you to focus on your own behavior. You can gain a better understanding of the role you play and learn different ways to navigate situations. It’s also possible for your partner to join a session if that would support you in your growth. 

I’m not the problem.

Since we only have control over our actions and reactions, not the other person, sometimes the best thing to do is look at how we can modify our behavior and find comfort in knowing we’re doing all we can on our end to improve dynamics. Relationship therapy can allow you to take these steps.

How does relationship counseling differ from couples therapy?

Relationship counseling focuses on relationships with friends, family, co-workers, partners, and anyone else you may interact with, whereas couples therapy is with your partner only. Relationship counseling has more of a focus on “you.” How you feel and engage within relationships and how they impact you. That is why you’re the only one attending sessions. In couples therapy, your partner attends as well.

You Can Be Happy in Your Relationships

Relationship issues don’t have to be permanent, nor do they have to define you or your life. Our relationship counselors are here to help, and we understand reaching out and getting started is often the hardest part. That’s why we try to make it as easy as possible by allowing you to schedule online at your convenience. 

You can also request a free 15-minute consultation to get a feel for your relationship therapist and ensure they’re the right fit.

We would love to help you strengthen your relationships.