New Year, Fresh Start

Well, it happened. The year 2020 has come to an end.

It’s likely that your 2020 didn’t quite go as planned. In fact, 2020 may have been one of the most difficult years of your life. You may have lost your job; you may not have seen friends or family; you may have even lost someone to COVID-19. For many, 2020 was, without question, a challenging year.

But with a new year comes a new chapter. While we cannot change what happened last year, we can change how we move forward in 2021 and beyond.

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New Year’s is a time for resolutions, a time when people commit to being more this or less that. Some people succeed in their resolutions, while others fall short (I certainly know what that’s like!)

Are you contemplating your 2021 resolutions? After an exhausting, divisive year, many people are simply looking for a fresh start. A chance to wipe the slate clean and begin anew.

While many harsh realities from 2020 remain, there is reason for optimism. If you look hard enough, you’ll see that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

With that in mind, here are some things to keep in mind as you enter a new year:

Very few things in life are permanent.

Perhaps you feel trapped in a job or in a relationship. Or maybe you had a disagreement with a friend or roommate and haven’t made peace. Well, not all is lost. You have the power to change or improve that job or relationship. You have the power to make things right—or at least try to make things right—with that friend or roommate. So often we feel powerless in our day-to-day lives, but we typically have far more power than we realize. We can always make a change. It’s never too late.

Some things, of course, are more difficult, and we may not have control over a situation (or at least not as much control as we would like). But if we’re doing the best we can, especially in light of whatever limitations we may face, we have to acknowledge that. And if we’re not doing the best we can, we have to make a choice and decide whether to commit to doing so.

Whatever we decide, we have to put things in perspective. We have to keep at it. We cannot give up.

Slow change is good change.

When people think of resolutions to make or goals to set, they often swing for the fences. There’s nothing wrong with that, but keep in mind that small changes can be just as powerful as big changes. Sure, a fresh start could mean ending a relationship, changing careers, or moving across the country. But it could also mean committing to self-improvement in your everyday life, whether it’s reading more or spending less time on social media.

Small changes tend to be easier to make than big changes, and big things can happen as a result of small changes. Perhaps spending less time on social media, for example, will free you to pursue a new hobby. Perhaps that new hobby becomes a side business or allows you to meet new people and expand your social circle. That would be a win, right?

People often think about changes as losses, as something they’re giving up. Instead, think about what you could gain as a result of your sacrifice.

Whatever the change is, ask yourself: Why do you want or need it? What do you hope to get out of it? It’s okay to swing for the fences, but it’s also okay to lay down a bunt and see what happens.

A fresh start doesn’t mean forgetting our past.

Regardless of who we date or marry, regardless of where we live or what we do for a living, we will always carry our experiences with us. But you get to decide the impact that those experiences have on you, particularly the negative ones. Is your negative experience something you don’t really think about, like the T-shirt you put on backwards? Or is it something that weighs you down, like a heavy backpack or suitcase?

As the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. You shouldn’t pretend that certain experiences didn’t happen, but you also don’t have to let them define you. You have a say in how you process your experiences and how they impact you.

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With a new year comes a fresh start, a chance to change or improve various aspects of our lives—or, at the very least, to think about our lives in different ways. This is an exciting time, but it can also feel overwhelming. Life transitions therapy can help navigate your fresh start, so please reach out. I would love to help you along your journey.

Dr. Amelia Powelson is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), and the owner of Perspective Psychology, LLC. She can be reached at 312.588.9672 or amelia@perspectivepsychchicago.com.